Abstract:Since the Qin and Han dynasties, China has formed a household system that integrates production and consumption with “one household” as its unit. As the basic unit of village society,every household not only defines the governance style and governance performance of rural grassroots, but also is influenced and shaped by village governance in turn. The effective governance of rural grassroots society depends on the effective connection of “village—household”, and also depends on the stability and harmony of the households themselves. According to the research,“family” is introverted and contains the stability factor in the household; “household” is extroverted and exists as social governance unit. The traditional Chinese is a society with “homogeneity of the family and the nation”,the rural villages on the basis of clan blood generated cultural connection with squire as the link,the internal order of households and the stability of the “village—household” connection mechanism depend on the traditional family concept and patriarchal system. Since the 20th century in the sinking process of the state power, after the long period of chaos and grope,a relatively stable mechanism of organizational connection mechanism was finally established in the commune period, households relied on political power and the already weakened patriarchal system to maintain its stability. In the era of post-collectivization,state power stepped down from the rural society and the dying patriarchal system was finally smashed by the wave of market-oriented,the “village—household” connection mechanism pushed by the country from top to bottom—villager autonomy—always failed to take root in rural society, while the households themselves have been constantly experiencing problems because of their loss of traditional stabilizers—patriarchal system. Through the discussion of family positioning and family nature in the new period, this paper believes that the direction of solving current family problems should be to stabilize and harmonize the family by emotion,strengthen the emotional interaction between family members, make family members join into a syntheses of unified and indivisible, forming a healthy and balanced state of emotional connection.